Finding your match within campus culture
May 2 - Elizabeth Powell
Dating at TMU can have a tarnished reputation, and often for good reason. Every student seems to have a story to tell of heartache or heartbreak, whether from their own experience or a friend’s. Yet, not all the stories are discouraging.
When biblical counseling major Laine Thomas met kinesiology major Bianca Rivas in the fall of 2023, neither of them dreamed that nearly a year and a half later the two would be planning their wedding the day after Thomas’s graduation.
Thomas, then a transfer junior, had come to TMU with his priorities set.
“I told myself, ‘Okay, first semester is for the boys. Get grounded and established in those relationships, and then after that, if the Lord wills, I'll start thinking about asking someone out maybe.’ That’s what I told myself, and it just so happened that that's exactly like how it worked out.”
Rivas and Thomas had each committed to be involved in the church — and both had joined the same local body and were part of the same Bible study in that church.
“We both had the intention that we wanted to get plugged in at the church, and we wanted to be intentional in those relationships,” Thomas said.
“I think as we both were pursuing that sphere of life, we just so happened to be sitting next to each other at Bible study. We started talking. And as we had more and more conversations, I realized how much I enjoyed talking to her.”
During the spring semester, Thomas and Rivas were taking two classes together and interacting through church in their Bible study and prayer meetings. Their friendship grew naturally from fellowshipping together with other believers — Rivas pointed out that they had never had a one-on-one conversation, but rather were always surrounded by friends and other church members.
“That’s where I started admiring his character and his love for the Lord and for others,” she said.
Thomas had another reason for wanting to ask Rivas out that semester — she was about to graduate.
“I got the boys saying, ‘You should do it’ and I’ve got the timeline that says it’s now or never,” Thomas said. “I didn’t have a 5 or 10-step plan. I just knew she’s very godly and I really like her and I’m going to ask her out.”
Their first date was on Valentine’s Day, 2024, studying for a world history quiz over Starbucks.
For the first two months of their relationship, Thomas and Rivas labeled their relationship as “getting to know each other.” Their desire was to build a solid friendship before jumping into a more serious commitment.
At the end of those months, the two gained Rivas’ parents’ blessing to officially start dating. Shortly after Rivas graduated and they parted ways, Thomas to Texas and Rivas home to Riverside, California.
Both agree that those three months of separation were the hardest part of their relationship, yet so sweet as they continued talking over FaceTime and deepening their friendship.
“When I got back after summer, after not seeing her for three months,” Thomas said, “the first time I saw her again, that’s when I knew, I’m going to marry her.”
The following months were full of prayer, many important conversations, and seeking counsel from godly men and women in their church. The prayer of Psalm 119:33-40 was one that Thomas came back to again and again, asking the Lord to help him obey his commands.
“He gives wisdom to those who ask,” Thomas said. “It was hard because I know that there are conversations I needed to have but I had no idea how… It’s okay to tell the person, ‘Hey, I don’t necessarily know what I’m doing, but I want to do it the right way, so here's the thing that we need to talk about.’”
As they prayed and sought counsel, God’s direction toward marriage became clear step by step. In January of 2025, Thomas proposed and the two were engaged to be married in May.
Looking back, Thomas and Rivas see God’s sovereignty on display throughout their relationship — bringing both of them to the same school from different places in the country and out of different experiences, placing them at the same church in the same small group. Yet he also sees the responsibility of believers to be faithful as God has called them and be involved in a local church.
“Trust the Lord and be faithful,” he said. “If we hadn't determined before meeting each other that we are going to be faithful to the local church and try to make that a priority in the midst of so many things, we wouldn’t have probably met each other. The local church cannot be overstressed.”
Rivas also emphasized the importance of holding their relationship with open hands. People can’t know how their story will end—and the truth is that even marriage is not forever.
“Something that was really helpful to me when we first started dating,” Rivas said, “was just committing it to the Lord… I don’t know how it’s going to end, but the Lord has brought this good thing into my life and I want to be faithful and honor the Lord by honoring my brother in Christ in this relationship that we’re starting.”
Both Thomas and Rivas have seen the hurt that comes when people don’t pursue God together. It is in running hard after him and seeking to love him that love for one another grows deep and strong.
“That has always been my favorite part about our relationship—getting to talk about the thing that we love most,” Thomas said. “Look for someone who loves to talk about the Lord, and that’ll be just the best relationship ever.”